The Fishbowl

Math, Statistics, and...ZOMBIES!!!

2009-08-19T22:20:13Z

If more math projects had been like this, I'd have been more interested...the zombie apocalypse meets modern disaster modeling meets AWESOME.

"I need an umbrella..."

2009-05-06T02:38:18Z

Today, The Boy and I were driving to dinner when we all saw a rainbow. It was the first one he'd ever seen, so obviously this set off a ton of toddler-talk. So, we get dinner and we come back out of the restaurant, and the rainbow was gone. The Boy looks around, and tells me to hurry as he takes off running towards the car. I ask him what we're doing and he tells me that we have to "catch the rainbow, Daddy." I asked him how we were going to catch the rainbow. He turned and looked at me. Then he said, serious as a heart attack, "I need an umbrella." I'm tempted to get him a toddler-sized umbrella and see what happens. Then again, if he does catch that rainbow with an umbrella, could it cause some sort of catastrophic chain reaction that would obliterate reality itself? Do all dads confront these sorts of questions?

"A Perfect Storm of Ignorance and Enthusiasm"

2009-04-23T01:11:10Z

With our current program of rebuilding our international image, it's a good idea to look at what did the lion's share of tarnishing it. And this article does it. A perfect storm indeed. I can understand at least the initial pressing desire to engage in harsher interrogation tactics in the hopes of uncovering what many conceived to be the next wave of attacks, but to continue the practice, and to advocate for its legality under international and American laws despite our own prior denouncement of the practices the prior administration referred to as "enhanced interrogation" as torture when other governments did it to our soldiers, is despicable. This was touched off by the release of the memos surrounding the torture debate, obviously. I will not rant. I will not rant. Calm.

Geeking it up in anticipation of Champions Online!

2009-04-19T14:51:05Z

Noble and true, you are the hero other heroes aspire to be. You are a natural leader, selfless and kind, who will put the lives of others above your own, and are steadfast in your pursuit of justice.

Take the quiz!

Make Mine Marvel...?

2009-03-27T01:57:39Z

Marvel Comics' movie studio end of things is starting up a staff office of writers for their stable of properties. Sounds great right? It does to me. But then I read this about their plan for these writers' contracts:

Before the writers are even allowed to come in and meet, they must sign a non-disclosure agreement and a 70-page, non-negotiable contract. Among other things, the contract gives Marvel ownership over everything the writers create during the one year term of [the] deal, plus a first look and last refusal to any and all projects the writers have previously written or will write for 24 months in the future.

Read about the whole thing here.

That is some scary stuff right there. They own you for 2 years after you quit. And they own anything the writer creates during that year, even in his off-time. Yeek. With desperate economic times come desperation contracts, I guess, but that is some seriously cold stuff right there.

Jon Stewart and Jim Cramer

2009-03-14T13:30:07Z

Everybody else has beaten this to death, but still...whoa. Why is it that the only person in the media that ever holds anyone accountable for anything is a guy on a fake news show? Seriously?

Add a few Howling Commandoes and...

2009-02-26T02:38:27Z

Samuel L. Jackson has reportedly signed on to portray Marvel's grand old Sergeant/Colonel Nicholas J. Fury for the next NINE Marvel Comics movie adaptions. Do not say "what" again. Fair warning.

Yet another of my obligatory "I'm a comic book geek" posts.

I cannot resist the AWESOMENESS of...

2009-01-31T03:13:38Z

EL GORGO!!

From El Gorgo's website:

El Gorgo is the world’s greatest Luchador. He is a gorilla. He also is the world’s greatest surf-guitarist. And he writes historical fiction. And he’s a scientist. And he fights crime. And he goes on adventures. Sometimes he sleeps for a few seconds.

This pushed buttons I didn't know I had. Did I mention there's a highly advanced lost city of saurian humanoids? And that El Gorgo works for an international organization called "Lucha Liberty"? I could say more, but then we'd get into spoilers.

Many thanks to bagg for pointing me toward El Gorgo.

Why I could never be President, Reason #1027

2009-01-30T03:52:34Z

The Onion recently did this little Onionized blurb about President Obama, poking fun at his comic collection habit. Were I ever, through some mad twist of fate or the whim of some cruel, sarcastic god, elected President, this article would not be in the Onion, but in the NYT. The only change would be that I would have fired people over it.

Dopey Dad Post

2008-12-02T01:12:52Z

Logan has learned to count. And created his own new mathematical concept, too! His creation, you ask...?

PIVE!

Part pi, part 5, all LOGAN!

How did The Boy arrive at this amazing point of brilliance? I don't know, as he's still only doing one- and two-word sentences, but I'm thinking it involved solving 22/5 or something? Hey, I'm not the toddler boy genius...

Am I exaggerating? Probably. Could this just be a linguistic difficulty with the "f" sound? Likely, as he also tries to say "Piveteen." But, viewing this through first-time poppa googles, BRILLIANT!!

Maybe it's better that they don't know...

2008-11-23T14:20:33Z

A recent study found that a significant percentage of elected officials really have no grasp of American civics. Take a gander at the study here. Hopefully most of them don't know what irony is either.

History, like the weather...

2008-11-06T03:00:44Z

...happens whether you like it or not. And boy did it happen. I think I'm honestly still in electoral shock. An election without a lawsuit, a sound victory, and a gracious and strangely anachronistic speech from the man who lost, followed by an equally gracious and steadfastly conciliatory speech by the winner. I think it's been something like 100 years since we had a turnout like that for a presidential election, with over 64% of eligible voters exercising their rights. I have a few thoughts about a few things, and they are as follows:

McCain actually came across as a damn Statesman again with his concession speech. Where was that version of McCain during this campaign? Not that I think the result would ultimately have been different, but at least the whole sideshow wouldn't have been so rancorous. As opposed to Rankorous, which would have been pretty cool.

Sarah Palin did not speak. Thank God. Now she can go back to Alaska and keep trying to get her former brother-in-law fired. *nod, wink, smirk*

Barack managed to flip both Ohio, Virginia, and Florida, and NC may yet flip his way once they finish counting. If that happens, it will be almost surreal.

My wife swore Obama was going to lose because she was voting for him, and no one she has voted for has ever won anything. Ha! Now if she would only have bought a lottery ticket yesterday too.

Finally, America has chosen its first minority president. Not much more I can add to that, except this: how many more civil rights leaders do I need to see cry? I understand that it's an amazing moment in history, but I hate to see people that are somebody's grandparent cry. And seeing seminal figures of modern American history cry kind of unnerves me too. Let's get away from that please.

Will Keith Olbermann ever stop climaxing? And does he have to do it in prime time on my favorite politcal newsish network? It's just icky.

I want a puppy, too.

Electorationizing

2008-11-04T23:05:37Z

I voted today. I waited in line to do so, after arriving at the polling station at 7 AM. I had to park on the grass, as the parking lot was full. I've never been so pleased to wait in line. Whatever happens, whoever gets elected, nobody can say that it's the electorate's fault; more people are voting and have voted than any election in history. And we can all look forward to the closing of the curtain on this campaign. Thank goodness. I'm a political junkie, and even I'm tired of it.

godfish @ 2008-10-28T09:15:00

2008-10-28T13:21:56Z

Okay, I received a monthly motivational email from the HR department at the establishment I work for. Next month's "Character Qualitiy" is...OBEDIENCE. Yes, they even put it in all caps. The text of the little motivational poster is even more unnerving. It reads as follows:

Obedience

Quickly and cheerfully carrying out the direction of those who are responsible for me.

Gain freedom and safety by operating in sync with your authorities.

The scary thing about this is that someone, somewhere in the bowels of the HR department actually picked this out of a publication called Character First. Somebody considers this "character." I feel now, more than ever, that I should have spent more money on that bunker.

Palin Probe

2008-10-11T19:36:11Z

No, I'm not talking about the latest slang for an interrogation procedure at Gitmo. I mean the report on her improper use of her office and staff to facilitate a familial grudge. Take a look here. And McCain put her on the ticket knowing this investigation was already in progress.

Sadly, terribly true...

2008-10-11T03:46:12Z

The Little Man's Book List

2008-10-11T03:42:53Z

I have noticed that my two-year-old son loves to drag my books down off the shelf and stack them with his books and toys. He consistently goes for the following titles:

Langenscheidt's Pocket Dictionary of Classical Greek
The Transitive Vampire
On the Night the Hogs Ate Willie (and Other Quotations on All Things Southern)
A Dictionary of Monsters

He has also begun to notice the Gaming Books, and has shown particular interest in the following:

All Flesh Must Be Eaten
Silver Age Sentinels

Last night he took the Pocket Dictionary of Classical Greek over to his mother and tried to get her to read it to him. The look on her face was priceless.

I think he's coming along nicely. Now if I can just convince him that I don't need to read him the exact same book four times in one hour...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

2008-10-10T14:08:09Z

I stumbled across a story this morning, and I almost choked myself stifling a series of guffaws. Sarah Palin has issued her own report on the Troopergate scandal, and (big surprise), her investigation found that she had engaged in no wrongdoing. Take a look here, and be prepared to belly-laugh.

Identity crisis

2008-09-26T22:39:19Z

I keep getting these calls on my cell phone from people, none of whom want to talk to me. Wrong numbers aren't something that usually bother me, but these calls I've been getting are different. The callers, all uniformly redneck-y men, keep asking alternatively for "Jasmine" or "Amber" or "[insert stripper name here]". It's kind of sad. I sometimes just want to say, "Dude, she was a stripper. She only gave her stripper name. Did you really think she was giving you her real phone number? Come on now." I'd pity them more if they didn't annoy the crap out of me with all these desperate calls.

Eyes in the back of his head

2008-09-24T02:14:18Z

So, I'm in court this week. We have a fellow coming in to plead guilty and go to jail for a while. Guy comes in and is standing up with his lawyer, and I notice the guy has freaking EYES tattooed on the back of his head. This left me wondering something. Is he trying to confuse potential prison predators, like some sort of criminal caterpillar? Or are they there in a desperate attempt to try and walk out of prison backwards, confusing the guards and thus increasing his opportunity for escape? I don't know. You see lots of folks come through court with all sorts of weird tattoos, but that set of eyes was by far the strangest bit of body art I've seen in a long time.

Sign of the times

2008-09-21T20:19:02Z

I drove through town this afternoon and I noticed a sign. It wasn't anything special to look at, just your standard reusable blocky black letters on a white field. It said, and I'm not kidding here:

"TAE KWON DO BIRTHDAY PARTY"

I have no idea what it's supposed to mean, or even what context could possibly make it comprehensible. It left me with a sentiment I've been experiencing a lot lately. WTF? It's like channel surfing and accidentally catching a little too much exposure to MTV. Does that work like radiation poisoning? Or is it more like arsenic? Or radon? I just know it has to be bad.

2 Questions to Complete Self-Realization

2008-09-20T20:46:42Z

Your result for The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test...

9 - the Peacemaker

Thanks for taking the test !

you chose BX - your Enneagram type is NINE (aka "The Mediator")

"I am at peace"

Peacemakers are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union
with others and the world around them.

How to Get Along with Me

If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially
don't like expectations or pressure.

I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advantage of this.

Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit.

Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge
me gently and nonjudgmentally.

Ask me questions to help me get clear.

Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery.

Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings.

I like a good discussion but not a confrontation.

Let me know you like what I've done or said.

Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life.

What I Like About Being a NINE

being nonjudgmental and accepting

caring for and being concerned about others

being able to relax and have a good time

knowing that most people enjoy my company; I'm easy to be around

my ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good
mediator and facilitator

my heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and
now

being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe

What's Hard About Being a NINE

being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive

being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline

being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally

being confused about what I really want

caring too much about what others will think of me

not being listened to or taken seriously

NINEs as Children Often

feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant

tune out a lot, especially when others argue

are "good" children: deny anger or keep it to themselves

NINEs as Parents

are supportive, kind, and warm

are sometimes overly permissive or nondirective

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele

The Enneagram Made Easy

Discover the 9 Types of People

Harper
SanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages

You liked the test?

so S P R E A D I T ! tell everyone!!!
(use Quick-Paste below)

you wanna know MORE?

so check out, what Wikipedia says about your type...

...even more you'll find in Google

or do you prefer to

You are not completely happy with the result?!

You chose BX

Would you rather have chosen:

AX (SEVEN)

CX (TWO)

BY (FOUR)

BZ (FIVE)</div>

Take The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test at HelloQuizzy

Well, at least they had the decency not to call this personality type a schmuck.

Seriously, how could a gaming geek like me resist this test...?

2008-09-19T03:29:52Z

Your result for The RPG Class Test...

Wizard

41% Combativeness, 20% Sneakiness, 100% Intellect, 50% Spirituality

Brilliant! You are a Wizard!

Wizards are spells-casters who study powerful arcane magic. While Wizards tend to be pretty fragile, some of those spells can pack quite a punch. Unlike Clerics, Wizards aren't as good at fixing people as they are at breaking them, so watch where you toss that fireball!

Your most distinctive trait is your intelligence. You're probably well learned and logical, if perhaps a bit fragile.

Take The RPG Class Test at HelloQuizzy

That's right...Wizard, biotches! Don't make me burn a hole in my memory to smite you!

A. Lee Martinez...

2008-09-19T03:19:46Z

...is my new favorite fantasy/sci-fi humorist. Gil's All-Fright Diner and In the Company of Ogres are classic. Even my not-so-nerdy wife is enjoying A Nameless Witch. It's nice to find someone other than Terry Pratchet who can write really good humor in the genre. Not that Pratchett is bad (I'm a big fan actually), but it's nice to have some options other than Discworld.

My two cents. Your actual value may vary, especially in the current economy.

Yet another internet quizzy-thing...!

2008-09-16T02:15:27Z

Your result for Reincarnation Placement Exam...

Garden of Eden

41% Intrigue, 44% Civilization, 54% Humanity, 40% Urbanization.

It's the Garden of Eden for you!

Well, this is about as cozy and simple as life can get. We hope you like it here. The real estate is not well developed, but the garden is top-flight.

Your answers indicate that you basically want to just coast through life. You don't want any trouble, and you don't want any special privileges either. That's fine with us. It's entirely possible to live a pleasant life without trouble or strife, and Eden is the perfect spot for it, as long as you don't... well...

Just try to behave better than the previous tenants. Evictions can be rough.

Take Reincarnation Placement Exam at HelloQuizzy

So, uhm...okay.